In the best-selling 1992 book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, John Gray argues that there are enormous psychological differences between men and women. Central to his argument is that men and women communicate so differently that they could be from ‘different planets’. However, this is just based on the author’s personal experiences and is not scientifically accurate.
The myth of extreme differences between the way men and women communicate has been popularised for a long time. However, few people have taken the time to look at the science of gender difference. In 2005, Professor Janet Hyde, from the University of Wisconsin–Madison, did so by using the scientific method of ‘meta-analysis’.
Meta-analysis is a statistical technique used for combining the findings from independent studies. Hyde looked at several meta-analyses that had explored gender differences related to cognitive abilities, communication, aggression, leadership, self-esteem, reasoning, and motor behaviours (Hyde, 2005).
The results that Hyde found were remarkable. Seventy-eight percent of gender differences were small or close to zero. The extensive evidence from the meta-analyses on gender demonstrated that males and females are alike on most, but not all, psychological variables. Hyde is not suggesting that there are no differences between men and women.
Her hypothesis of gender similarity claims that people are similar on most, but not all, psychological variables. For example, differences between men and women have been scientifically found in some motor behaviours, some aspects of sexuality, and physical aggression.
Gender differences seem to depend on the context in which they are measured. In one experiment, participants were told that the maths test had shown gender difference in the past, and in the other experiment, they were told that the test had been shown to be gender neutral. When the participants had been told that the maths test was gender fair, there were no gender differences in performance. When the participants expected gender differences, women underperformed compared with men (Spencer et al., 1999).
So why do these categorical stereotypes of men and women persist? It seems researchers and writers love to simplify things rather than deal with the complexity of ‘dealing with each individual as a unique case’ (Carothers & Reis, 2012). Like most stereotypes, this probably speeds things up. However, also, like most stereotypes, they limit communication and frequently emphasise negative rather than positive characterisations.
There is a cost to the false hypothesis of male/female difference. It has an impact on the way people communicate and resolve conflict. It has an impact on schools and workplaces. It also has serious implications for communication and can be harmful in the context of relationships. People are too quick to blame communication problems on gender, without taking the time and effort to understand the complexities of human communication.
The fundamental thesis of Mars–Venus is incorrect. Men and women are both from the same planet – planet Earth.
Source: This is an edited version of a Chapter in Tony Buon’s 2015 book Communication Genius: 40 Insights from the Science of Communicating (John Murray Publishing).
References
Hyde, J. S. (2005), ‘The Gender Similarities Hypothesis’, American Psychologist, Vol. 60 Issue 6 pp 581–92
Carothers, B. J. & Reis, H. T. (2013), ‘Men and women are from Earth: Examining the latent structure of gender’, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 104 Issue 2 pp 385–407
Spencer, S. J., Steele, C. M. & Quinn, D. M. (1999), ‘Stereotype threat and women’s math performance’, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Vol. 35 pp 4–28
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